Quite often when your phone rings, it’s not someone you know. It’s an automated “robo” call telling you it’s time to renew your car warranty, or an offer to lower your student loan rate. Most people are annoyed by these calls, but they can be quite fun if you’re bored.
Every day, millions of these calls are made despite “do not call” lists, and phone apps which are supposed to block unsolicited calls. These calls may be annoying, but they’re obviously effective, because they wouldn’t be happening if they weren’t. Somebody is giving these phone pirates money.
I used to get very frustrated with these calls, but now I always take the time to answer…
If I’m wasting their time on a call with the stupid responses I give them, it’s time they’re not scamming some elderly person out of their life savings. I try to waste as much of their time as I can. Despite this, they always call back, sometimes two or three times day. You’d think they would stop calling or at least get annoyed with me, but they don’t. Maybe they think the next call will be the time I decide to give them money. I’m surely not going to give them any of my money, but I do find it quite amusing to mess with them.
When they ask how much I owe on my student loans, I usually tell them, “ten million dollars”, or something else outrageous. They don’t seem to believe me though. I even try to tell them I’ve been in college for 50 years, and that is why my loan is so high. Sometimes I tell them I’m going to school to be a phone scammer. They don’t like that response.
When they ask about my car warranty, I usually tell them I have a 1986 Yugo, so I really need a good warranty. They usually follow up with a question like, “Do you have another car?” I say, “YES! I also have a 1977 Ford Pinto.” If they don’t hang up on me by then, sometimes they’ll continue asking if I have any other cars, at which time I’ll tell them I also have a 2026 Lamborghini. I had a caller once tell me it’s not possible for me to have a 2026 Lamborghini. I explained that I drive it daily on my commute from Los Angeles to Hawaii every day, so he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I also try to stall them as much as I can by asking them a variety of questions. Eventually they’ll hang up on me, but sometimes they cuss at me before so, which I think is really funny. It’s fun to see how long I can keep them on the phone.
If I wasted their time, even a little, I did my good deed for the day.
Rather than getting mad the next time you receive one of these calls, have some fun with it!
It just might make your day a little brighter.
~ Marty ~