How you eat your slice says lots about what kind of person you are…

Are you a folder or do you eat it straight?

Do you use a knife and fork to cut your pizza?

Do you eat the crust end first?

There are so many ways to eat a slice, but is there a right way?

In my opinion, the answer is an overwhelming YES.

Folding is the best way to eat a slice, pure and simple. Most pizza slices are cut into triangles for this reason. If it’s greasy, it helps reduce the mess. If it’s cheesy, it holds the cheese in. It keeps the sauce from dripping, and it’s easier to hold. Folding also reduces the size, making it easier to fit in your mouth. And if nothing else, it just makes you look cool. Eating pizza any way other is just silly.

What if it’s a square pizza?

Square pizzas are cut into easy to handle slices. Just pick it up to eat it.

What’s wrong with silverware?

Maybe I’m just a savage, but using a fork to eat a slice is just plain wrong. The only semi-okay time for a fork is when the slice is super cheesy and you’re doing so to pull off gobs of thick stringy cheese to indulge in the amazing flavor. Otherwise, just pick up the slice to eat it. There is no reason cut up a pizza slice to make it easier to eat.

What if it’s a fancy restaurant?

If it were actually a fancy restaurant who served real pizza, they wouldn’t care if I folded my slice. If they did care, they obviously don’t know pizza, in which case I wouldn’t want to be there.

What if the pizza isn’t cut?

Just fold the whole pie and eat it like a taco!

Should you eat the crust first?

This is just weird. It’s like sitting backwards on a toilet. You just don’t do that.

Pizza is pizza.

In theory, as long as you’re eating pizza, that’s what matters…

How you eat it just determines how silly you look.

Don’t be that person.

Fold the slice and eat it right.

~ Marty ~

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