Every once in a while, I get random things delivered to my house that I did not order.

Some people might find this annoying, but I find it entertaining.

I routinely get mail delivered to my house that is not addressed to me. This type of mail is an understandable mistake because people lived in my house before me, but what makes me curious is when I receive unsolicited mail and deliveries that are actually addressed to me.

One time I got a t-shirt in the mail which read, “World’s Best Mom.” Granted, I probably would be the most awesome mom ever, but I’m pretty sure that was not meant for me (plus, it was two sizes too small – otherwise I would have worn it).

I recently had two full size decorative bronze curtain rods delivered from Walmart. They were nice, but not my style.

I once got a plain unmarked package delivered to my door step by Fed Ex. Upon opening it, I found sample packs of adult diapers in various sizes. I’ll admit, that one actually made me giggle. I’m guessing that may have a been a friend pranking me, but like the best mom t-shirt, these were the wrong size also (I probably should have kept them though because they may fit me someday).

I once got a cat flea collar (I don’t have a cat). Another time I got a set of woman’s razors (I actually used those). I’ve also gotten fishing lures (I sold those on Ebay and made a few bucks). In another randomly odd mail opening, I received ball bearings for some sort of industrial application (I still have those in case I ever run a factory). One of my favorite things I’ve received was a music CD featuring the classics of polka. That was pretty okay, and I played it often.

Then there’s the magazine subscriptions…

The issues of Bird Watching magazine were simply fabulous, as were the stories in Martha Stuart Living. All were greatly appreciated and provided for some great bathroom reading.

I’ve actually received much more than what is listed here…

We won’t talk about the pineapple pizza delivered to my work though, because I figured out who sent that. Such a waste of a perfectly good pizza ((sigh)), and it was April Fool’s Day, so, yeah.

On the day I wrote this article, I found an envelope in my mailbox.

Somewhere, somehow, someone in the world felt I needed a cheese slicer.

It came from the nation of Tajikistan.

I didn’t know Tajikistan was world renowned for cheese slicers, but apparently they are. I guess I’ve been living my life improperly to have not known that. Maybe the last time I was in Tajikistan I made a friend who felt I needed a cheese slicer. However, I can’t recall the last time I was Tajikistan, so that probably isn’t what happened.

I’ve been asked why I don’t return the items I receive. When I get mail legitimately not addressed to me, I do return those to the sender, but if mail or deliveries are actually addressed to me, well, someone wanted me to have it. Like the other things I mentioned, there was no invoice and no paperwork to say anything about the order with the cheese slicer. Let’s face it, free stuff is free stuff, whether I need it or not. And, it’s rude to not accept a gift.

If someone is trying to prank me, the joke is on them because they’re wasting money.

I may or may not use the cheese slicer, but I didn’t have a cheese slicer in my arsenal of eating utensils, so I guess it’s a win for me because now I DO have one, should the need arise to slice some cheese.

If whoever is ordering stuff for me is reading this, I’d appreciate it if you would get me some things I actually need though. Maybe I’ll set up a gift registry at Target to give some hints.

If not, just send me the cash equivalent.

~ Marty ~

It is what it is. I’m just happy someone, somewhere, is thinking about me.

Cheese slicer from Tajikistan blog post
The actual cheese slicer from Tajikistan…